Gross Misconduct
Ham-handed nonsense that couldn’t work out how to evolve into an effective thriller or drama, so opted for soft-porn - or perhaps that was the intention all along. Featured Jimmy Smits, who was on a short working sojourn to Australia at the time, as well as Naomi Watts - known then only for her role as the girl who knocked back a date with Tom Cruise for one of mum’s lamb roasts. I bet she’d like this one struck from her back catalogue, given that her acting is raw and unsubtle, and that she exposes jugs and genitals at regular intervals. Oh, that and the fact that it’s utter crap - steer clear at all costs, unless you’re only watching to see Naomi naked.The whole schemozzle opens with Naomi masturbating in bed over Jimmy Smits, as you do. It seems the poor guy is perfect: sultry looks, great body, great father, intelligent, hell he even plays long, languid saxophone solos in smoke-filled jazz clubs - what woman could resist him? A pity he’s indelibly stupid, as he’s unable to recognise Naomi’s clumsy teenage advances - and clumsy acting - or the dangers inherent in spending so much time with her. The reason offered for the naivete of this switched-on, middle-aged character? He teaches Platonic concepts of love, of course. A pity the director didn’t realise that an expert on Plato would know that he, too, bonked his students.Anyway you can almost guess the rest: they end up doing the bedroom beguine, the affair is discovered, Naomi cries rape, Jimmy gets into a lot of trouble and ends up in court. The absolution duly comes, and it’s a doozy: it appears Naomi was previously enjoying the pleasures of the flesh with her Daddy, who took offence when she decided to end it for Jimmy. An orange-juicer is put to an interesting use and the whole sordid mess thankfully ends - Naomi can put her clothes back on, Jimmy can go back to the States, Alan Fletcher can run along to “Neighbours”, and we can engage in something more productive like plucking your nose-hairs. Has my summary put you off watching it? Good.
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